He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
