We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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