i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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