Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
