So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
