I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
