I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
