i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize