No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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