His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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