I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize