so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
