Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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