There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
