His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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