I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
