dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
