make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So much rum. So many feels.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize