I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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