I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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