They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she looked like the before picture.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
