I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
