Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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