i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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