i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
