Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
