dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
