Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize