I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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