I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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