woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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