So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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