He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
