haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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