Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
