good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize