his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
