somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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