So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
