it wasn't lemon gatorade
Someone shit on the floor
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
