why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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