Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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