Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
