do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
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