How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
