i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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