I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it's like iHOP with fire
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
