I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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