just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
