soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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