Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true

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(310): View more from California

and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.

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(559): View more from California

The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..

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