Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
