Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Randomize