you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
