Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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