The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
