Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
