I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
